"Mommy Juice"

I had the pleasure of taking Corgan with me to the OB yesterday morning. I prayed the doctor wouldn't do an internal exam for fear that it would warp my child for the rest of his life. I could only imagine the future sessions with his psychologist.

"I have this weird memory of my mom..."

Thankfully, Dr. Montanaro didn't check me, just the regular measuring of my buddah belly and listening to the baby's heartbeat. Phew! But, Corgan did get to go in the bathroom with me for my weekly "sample." I got my little dixie cup, proceeded to leave my "sample" and put it on the counter. Corgan sees it and decides he's thirsty! (Major, MAJOR hiney clenching here) I said, "Nooooo, that's not a drink!" "Juice!!!" "Nooooo, that's Mommy's pee pee." (I can only imagine the nurse listening at the door...) "Mommy Juice! Drink Mommy juice!!!"

Sick and wrong. Thankfully, I happened to have a bottle of water and was able to alleive my son's dire thirst. Every time I pee, I think of "Mommy Juice." Nasty.

Totally freaking out....

As the month of January slips through my fingers, I begin to... panic. Oh, yes. True, "hiney clenching" (thank you Pioneer Woman), arm pit staining panic.

For those of you who don't know me very well, I'm a bit of a control freak. I like to plan ahead. I hate surprises. For example, Travis's and my first Christmas together I searched the apartment high and low to find my presents. Nowhere to be found, I had a sudden bit of inspiration... THE CAR! Bwaa haa haa haaaaaaaa!!!!! While my unsuspecting husband was on the phone one evening, I nonchalantly went outside and had just opened the trunk, glimpsing my booty when I hear, "What are you doing?" "Ummm, changing the tire?" He didn't buy it. Sure, some spontaneity is good... deciding last minute that you want to go the movies for example. But, for the most part, I like to know what I'm doing in a day. So, needless to say, being in the last few weeks of pregnancy has me a bit on edge. I don't know when, where, or what time I will go into labor. Will it be at church? Will I be at Walmart and have my water break? Or, will it be three o'clock in the freaking morning? What is he going to look like? Are we really SURE he's a HE?!

Last time I was sooooo anxious to have Corgan. Every week I would go to the doctor and be sooo disappointed to find that I hadn't dilated one stinking centimeter. I would be in a totally foul mood the rest of the day. I was ready to be a mother dang it. Ohhhhh, what little I knew! They are so much easier to handle when they're INSIDE. I'm not so much worried about dealing with a newborn. They're pretty much lumps for a while. Corgan has me a bit freaked out. He's quite loud. Do you know that I actually thought the other day that it would be GOOD if Caiden had hearing loss?! What kind of sick person am I? I was just thinking, "Man, if this kid's deaf, too, at least he'll be able to sleep through Corgan's monologues." Bad mommy.

Not only is Corgan loud, but he tends to throw things. At your head. And poke you in the eyes. Hard. He tends to stick things in your ears and up your nose. He climbs and tackles. He is two. And good at it. So tell me it's going to be ok. Reassure me that even if Corgan jumps on Caiden's head and pokes him in the eyes with his talons (you try cutting the kid's fingernails) that Caiden will come out of it unscathed. He will survive, right?

Nesting, nesting, nesting!!!!

I'm driving my husband crazy. And myself, to be honest. I have been nesting like a mad woman!!!! I've scrubbed the fridge and freezer, cleaned the house from top to bottom, organized Caiden's room, completely reorganized Corgan's room, weeded the yard, changed sheets, washed all the clothes, towels and sheets in the entire house, and am still feeling very restless. I don't remember being this bad when I was pregnant with Corgan! It's kind of annoying. But at least the house looks great!

I got an hour and a half massage yesterday and nearly passed out on the table. Literally. I've passed out three times in my life, and I see these sparkly lights (they're kind of pretty....), get all sweaty and then feel like I'm going down a tunnel. It's kinda trippy. Anyway, the massage therapist had me laying on my back at an angle to keep the pressure off my aorta, but apparently it wasn't working! It was an awful sensation. I got so hot I wanted to strip all the covers off and just lay there in my skivvies. I didn't care. Poor massage therapist. I think she thought I was a nutter. As soon as I laid on my left side, the world was all well again. I don't think I'll be getting another massage until after Caiden gets here. Not fun.

Favorite Picture....

I just LOVE this picture of Corgan. He was six and a half months in this shot and had just woken up from a nap. Look at the CUTE toes! I just wanna kiss em!

Happy Family!!!

I'm sitting at my mom's computer, going through her pics and came across these of her, dad and Aaron. I just love the innocence and naivety... This was before four more kids, medical school, clinics, ER and teenagers. Sigh. Aren't they just lovely? I really do have a very handsome dad and gorgeous mom, dontcha think?

Special Post for Uncle Larry....

Corgan decided he wanted to be cool like Mommy and wear her kicks. At least it's not heels. But, I think he has a bit of growing to do!

Car Wash

Have I mentioned my son LOVES cars? The other night I asked him if he wanted to take a bath. "Nooooo." Hmph. Stinker. I said, "Do you want to give your cars a bath?" "CAR BATH!!!!" He started collecting ALL of his cars and putting them in his special "car box" which is an ugly, gray, plastic portable file folder carrier thing and starts pushing his cars into the bathroom. He LOVES cars!

I thought this picture was just too sweet. My little nugget.

Buddah Belly

Here I am, thirty six weeks prego. Please don't mind the hair. I'd had a nap and worked out, so it's a little, um, let's just say "lacking" and leave it at that....

Copy Cat

Here's a list of Corgan's likes and dislikes, just like you will find on Danielle and Chrissy's blogs.... I thought it was a great idea!

Likes:
Cars (the movie, the toys, the Expedition, he loves it all)
Wagons
Cheese
His "Ka" (pacifier)
Babies (thank goodness)
Blue's Clues
Beans
Coloring
Playdoh
Jumping
Coats
Outside
Swinging
Books
Mac N' Cheese
Vaccuum
Broccoli
Lego's
BALLOOONS
Pizza
Bathtime
Salsa

Dislikes:
Going to bed
Booger Snatcher
Fingernail Clippers
Peas
The word NO
Naughty Spot
Diaper Changing
The Potty (It's going to take forever to potty train this kid)
Being confined - crib, shopping cart, holding your hand, hates it all....
Having his hair cut

It really was hard to come up with his dislikes! Corgan is such a happy, easygoing child. I just LOVE being his mommy. Here are some of MY likes and dislikes (Copying Molly):

Likes:
Naps
Working Out
Massages
My Quick Trip Mug
Soup
Salad
My husband and family... Travis is sometimes in the other category, but for the most part, he's a "like."
Mother's Day Out
Blogging
Long Showers
Money... I just don't have any.
Smashing Pumpkins (duh)
My new vaccuum cleaner
Friends
Reading
Walmart
Being able to take a nice, deep breath.
Sleeping on my stomach
Sleeping on my back
HOT baths
(can you tell I'm kinda tired of being pregnant?!)

Dislikes:
Shaving my legs
Getting up early
Milk
Cellulite
WOW (World of Warcraft... I truly HATE this stupid video game)
Pretentious people
Yearly checkups
Texas Summers
TRAFFIC
Feeling guilty

Where Corgan's Name Comes From....

Every time I tell someone my child's name, I get a confused look and an intelligent, "Huh?" "Corgan." "That's really neat!" It was very important to Travis and me to name our first born child something meaningful and unique. Let me tell you where this name comes from....

Travis and I met through some interesting circumstances (the subject of a future blog) in Provo, Utah. On our first date, we found we had a lot to talk about and many things in common. We asked the typical get to know you questions like, where did you grow up, what's your favorite type of food ("what... is your name? what... is your quest? what... is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?" ... sorry, had to stick some Monty Python in here).

Anyway, Travis asked me what my favorite music was. This was during a time that N'Sync, Backstreet Boys, Britney Spears and other crappy groups ruled the airways. My response to his question was not, "Oh, I just LOOOOOOOVE 98 Degrees!" Like I think he expected, but instead, out of left field I answer, "I really love the Smashing Pumpkins." To test my knowledge of the group, Travis asked, "Oh, really. What song?" I know he was doubtful. I mean, what nineteen year old girl in Provo, Utah likes a punk band? "I really like the song 'Eye' from the Lost Highways Soundtrack." "OH MY GOSH. You really know who the Smashing Pumpkins are?!" I think that was the moment he knew he had to marry me. You see, Travis LOVES the Smashing Pumpkins. I mean, when they broke up, he cried as he watched their unplugged show on VH1. He has EVERY SINGLE cd they ever released and for Christmas one year I got him an autographed picture of the band. Now the picture is kind of creepy, but he loved it.

That was a moment of great connection between us. Well, for those of you unfamiliar with the Smashing Pumpkins, Billy Corgan is the lead singer of the group. About a year before we even got pregnant with Corgan, we decided what better name for our first child than "Corgan." It sort of symbolizes how we started and is anything if not extremely unique. My poor child will never find his name on those personalized bike plates, but that's OK.

Maybe we should name Caiden Billy instead. Then I could just yell, "Billy... Corgan..." I'd be the COOLEST mom on the block. Or the craziest. Who knows.





See, they're even kind of alike! They both have a tendency to wear really strange things on their head and both love music!

Confession Number Three....

Since I'm stuck indoors for the next million years due to an impending horrific ice storm that is to blow through the area ANY MINUTE (whatever), I thought, "What better time to confess another sin?" I don't think you know about this one mom....

Here's a little bit of background info.... I went to high school in a very small town, one where everyone knew everyone and was related somehow. Made for interesting dating opportunities. Anyway, you could walk down to the corner store for a soda at ten o'clock at night and your parents wouldn't have to worry about your safety.

After graduating in a class of 42 people, I went from a teeny tiny town to a division one college across the country. I didn't know anyone, nobody really cared to know me, and it was a little weird to say the least. I lived on campus with some great people and we were in our own little "bubble." Needless to say, we were a bit naive...

Well, I am somewhat of a night owl, if you notice the time of my posts on this blog. I started to take to jogging at night. Up the canyon. Alone. By myself. At about eleven o'clock at night. STUPID, STUPID, STUPID. I'd tell my roomie that if I wasn't back in a couple of hours, to call the cops, but she was almost always asleep when I got back. She was very concerned for my safety and well being. Bless her heart. (Alisha if you're reading this, just know I love you.)

I did this for several months without any crazy people trying to rape or murder me in the streets, so I thought, "Well, this town is really safe!" The next semester I started dating a guy that lived across campus and I would go to his apartment to hang out since we were poor and neither of us had cars. We would just sit on the couch and bask in the "true love" we had for each other until the wee hours of the morning when I would decide it was probably time for me to go back to my dorm. So, at three o'clock in the morning, my boyfriend would be too tired to walk me across campus to my dorm and would let me walk the mile or so back BY MYSELF. ALL ALONE. Now, there had actually been some instances where women had been attacked in the same area I was walking and had been nicknamed "Rape Hill." I knew this. Butt head boyfriend knew this, but he was "too tired" to escort his eighteen year old girlfriend, "love of his life" back to the safety of her dorm. What a dork. That's ok, I think he's gay anyway.

So let's just say, I am an extremely naive, stupid, stupid girl. Just remembering the things I used to do makes my pitts sweat. Seriously, I think I'm going to have to put on some more Degree. I'm so lucky that nothing ever happened to me, although it would have served me right. WHAT THE HECK WAS I THINKING?! Please tell me you did something at least as stupid and reckless as this in your life.... PLEASE?!

Crazy Texans....

I have been home bound for two whole days and am starting to go a little nutty. The house is clean, the laundry is done, I've worked out and read books. I AM SO SICK OF IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I came home early from working at my dad's clinic since it was supposed to be horrid and icy on Saturday, so I drove home in a freakin hurricane since I didn't want to be stranded in Paris for four days (no offense mom and dad). Saturday we stayed home due to a "chance" of an ice storm. Nothin. I was really looking forward to church today since Corgan needed an outlet and I needed to socialize, but we got a call that church was cancelled today due to a "chance" of an ice storm. Come one people!!!! When I went to college in Utah, you went to classes in a freakin blizzard! Your eyeballs froze and it hurt to breath, but you bundled up and walked to class. Here, in the great state of Texas, when the weather man says there's a "chance" of an ice storm, we rush to Walmart, buy bottled water and huddle in our homes with the heat cranked up to 75 degrees and moan and complain about how cold it is outside. Sheesh. Now, we probably will be stuck indoors AGAIN tomorrow since there is a CHANCE of AN ICE STORM. GRRRRRRR!!!!!

Confession Number Two

I like to consider myself somewhat intelligent. Not brilliant by ANY stretch of the imagination, but I can watch the news and I totally know where Baghdad is, and I think that counts for something. But, some of the simple things, man those get me. Uncle Larry, this confession is for you!!!

My mom and her brother Larry have this ongoing joke that goes back, waaaaaaaaay back to when they were just cute little kids growing up in Northern California. Larry had this duck that Mom accidentally killed. The poor girl was only five, I think, and she snapped his neck in the ironing board. No more duck.

Well, the duck's name was Bill. I just figured out why his name was Bill about three days ago. Like I said, sometimes the simple things go WAAAAAY over my head... I just told Travis and he looked at me like I was the biggest dork. But TRUST ME, Travis has NO ROOM TO TALK. I won't go into it, because after all, this is my own confession.

Pregnancy Cravings....

It just hits you. You're minding your own business, reading a good book, and all of a sudden, BLAM! You absolutely MUST HAVE mashed potatoes. No question. Do or die. Your mind focuses on one thing, MASHED POTATOES. Mmmmm... Who cares that it's ten o'clock at night and they have to be the starchiest thing on earth to eat? Who cares that you know you're going to eat the whole package with about a billion butt plumping calories? It is a necessity. And believe me. I ate the whole thing. Scraped the bowl with my finger even.

Did you know it takes FOREVER to make instant mashed potatoes? I mean, HELLO, they're supposed to be "instant," as in, you eat them NOW. But no... they take a whole TEN MINUTES! And when the beast in your belly is tugging on the cord, demanding mashed potatoes, you just try reasoning with him.

I really haven't had that many cravings during this pregnancy, but boy when they hit, it knocks me on my butt. My butt that has been plumped due to mashed potatoes. Mmmm....

INDECENT EXPOSURE!!!!!!!!!

My kid is apparently learning the fine art of stripping. Oh, yes. Future employment at Chippendale's is a sure thing... If he can figure out how to get his shirt completely off. That part kind of puzzles him....

My Gorgeous Neice

Emily is the one, the only granddaughter in the family and is therefore treated like the princess she is! Emily is an absolute doll (she does a great impersonation of a cabbage patch doll) and has the sweetest little grin and laugh! She's nine months old and walking like a pro. I'm so impressed with her!!!


These are pics from Corgan's Birthday Bash. She had been sucking on the car that was topping Corgan's cake and it had a bunch of black frosting on the wheels. She was a bit peeved that we took the car away from her... It was TASTY!

My Handsome Nephews...

I have the most handsome nephews in the whole world, if I do say so myself. Nick is turning 8 in just a few days (AAAAHHHHH), Carter will be FOUR YEARS OLD next month and Eric is the baby. They all have such different personalities and are so much fun to be around! I just love my nephews and think they hung the moon!

Party Pics

Corgan had his second birthday party at Chuck E. Cheeses. He had so much fun!!! A lot of his buddies were able to come and ran wild. They had just finished renovating, so there was new carpet, a bunch of new games and it wasn't very full at all - perfect!




I had to cut Travis out of this picture. Not because I don't love him, but he has a tendency to look stoned in pictures. I would post it, but I think he'd have a heart attack.

Confession Number One....

I'm having trouble posting pics. I know you guys are all in suspense, just waiting to see the pictures from Corgan's birthday extravaganza. But, alas, you will have to wait. Sorry to disappoint. So, in lieu of pictures of cake, pizza and fun, I will have to thrill you with memories of my past. I've decided to start confessing things I've done that were just really, really stupid, in hopes that it will prevent you from doing the same. Learn from others. It's safer and painless!

When I was a senior in high school I was on the cheerleading squad. I know, hard to believe. But, I really was. Promise. I wasn't any good, but you really didn't have to be GOOD for a small school. You just had to be able to fit in the uniform and count to three. So, I qualified. In my sophomore year of high school my parents moved the family to a town thirty minutes away, but since my older brother and I were very involved in the high school, my parents let us drive to and from Honey Grove every day for school. I think they were hoping we'd tire of it and consent to go to Paris High, but Jason and I did this for two and a half years.

I got to where I could literally drive that two lane highway with my eyes closed. Or with the headlights off. Whatever my teenage stupidity felt like attempting that day. But, my senior year of high school I did the ultimate stupid thing while driving a stick shift.

I had forgotten my cheerleading outfit so had to run home after school, grab it and then head off to the football game. Now, I couldn't be late, since that would mean a demerit. Ooooh. Scary. So, all I had time for was to grab my uniform and jump back into my little Ford Escort and fly back down the highway. Here's my confession:

I changed into my uniform on the way to the game.

Now, this may not seem like a huge deal to some, but let me tell you what. Driving 80 miles per hour (yes mom. I was a speed demon) down a two lane highway with the sun in your eyes and changing into a skin tight cheerleader uniform with bloomers AND getting your shoes tied, is quite a feat. Not for the faint of heart, I'll tell you that.

The good news is, I survived. The bad news is, some truckers probably got an eye full. Ewww...

Which actually leads me into another confession that I won't delve into today. But it has to do with driving during rush hour traffic in Alabama while pumping breast milk. Yes, I am quite the multi tasker. Not only can I change clothes (Superman has the phonebooth, I have the car) but I can make like a dairy cow during rush hour traffic. Anything to make the drive more interesting.

My ride in a cop car....

Ok, it wasn't technically a "ride" since it wasn't actually moving down the road, but yes, I did get very intimate with the inside of an Oklahoma State Trooper's vehicle. Wanna know how?

Travis and I went on a little vacation to a secluded cabin up in South Eastern Oklahoma near Beaver's Bend. We were cruising down this winding back road in the foothills and apparently I was speeding. A bit. Well, we come up on TWO state troopers, BOTH turn on their lights, but thankfully only one pulled me over. I think I would have birthed Caiden right then and there if I had two cops knocking on my window. Anyway, guess who didn't have her driver's license! Oh, yeah. AND, guess who didn't have the most current insurance card in her car? Yep, that would be ME! I swear, every single time I go on vacation, SOMETHING bad happens. I told Travis that I have the Patron Saint of Vacation Hell as my personal saint.

Anyway, so this trooper asks me to come back to his car and have a seat while he looks up my driver's license in his nifty computer. I said, "I've never been in a cop car before." He responds, "At least you're in the front." Me, being the idiot that I am, actually thought I was going to be arrested for not having a license or proof of insurance and was going to sit in the back seat and bawl my little eyes out. Whew.

So, sitting in the hot seat, he politely asks me for my information. Date of birth, address, height, weight, etc. When I asked if he wanted pre-pregnancy weight or current, he just laughed and said it didn't matter. I think that was the moment I knew that everything was going to be ok. I didn't get a ticket, just a warning. Apparently he felt sorry for a fat pregnant chick with no makeup and bed head. Nice man. And, I learned something new! In Oklahoma, two lane highways are 65, NEVER 70 like they are in Texas. Who knew? Not me, but thought I'd share so you don't have to sit in a state trooper's car like I did and have rubber neckers driving by ten miles an hour to check out the new felon in the area.

New Year's Goals....

I like calling them "goals" instead of "resolutions." That way, if I don't keep my goals, it sounds better than breaking my resolutions. I don't know. Makes sense to me. Anyway, here goes nothing. Putting it in writing and letting the world see them makes them a bit more concrete. Keep me accountable you guys....

1. Read my scriptures every day. Not just read, but actually ingest, study and understand. I would like to read the New Testament all the way through.

2. Get back down to my pre pregnancy weight. Or at least fit into the pants. Weight is just a number.

3. Be a better mom. Lose my temper less. Actually TEACH my children, instead of just sitting on my butt.

4. Be a better wife. Lose my temper less. Actually go on dates with my husband and talk with him. Not just talk at him or let my mind wander when he's telling me something. Even if it has to do with computers. I'll try to listen better.

5. Lose my temper less. That's a biggie.

6. Go to the temple at least once a quarter.

7. Get back on a budget!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

8. Be nicer to myself. I'm really hard on myself when it comes to, well, pretty much everything. I need to learn how to relax and enjoy the ride.

9. Be a better housekeeper. I've tried assigning a day of the week for a particular task, but that worked for two days. Not even the whole week, just two days. Maybe I should try that again. They say it takes twenty eight days to make a habit. I think I'll try that!

10. Work out at least five times a week. That'll be easy. Hey, you have to have some easy goals or you just get frustrated and give up all together!!!

So, there you go! My top ten goals for 2007. Now, I'm counting on you guys to keep me in line, k? I need some accountability!!!!