Totally freaking out....

As the month of January slips through my fingers, I begin to... panic. Oh, yes. True, "hiney clenching" (thank you Pioneer Woman), arm pit staining panic.

For those of you who don't know me very well, I'm a bit of a control freak. I like to plan ahead. I hate surprises. For example, Travis's and my first Christmas together I searched the apartment high and low to find my presents. Nowhere to be found, I had a sudden bit of inspiration... THE CAR! Bwaa haa haa haaaaaaaa!!!!! While my unsuspecting husband was on the phone one evening, I nonchalantly went outside and had just opened the trunk, glimpsing my booty when I hear, "What are you doing?" "Ummm, changing the tire?" He didn't buy it. Sure, some spontaneity is good... deciding last minute that you want to go the movies for example. But, for the most part, I like to know what I'm doing in a day. So, needless to say, being in the last few weeks of pregnancy has me a bit on edge. I don't know when, where, or what time I will go into labor. Will it be at church? Will I be at Walmart and have my water break? Or, will it be three o'clock in the freaking morning? What is he going to look like? Are we really SURE he's a HE?!

Last time I was sooooo anxious to have Corgan. Every week I would go to the doctor and be sooo disappointed to find that I hadn't dilated one stinking centimeter. I would be in a totally foul mood the rest of the day. I was ready to be a mother dang it. Ohhhhh, what little I knew! They are so much easier to handle when they're INSIDE. I'm not so much worried about dealing with a newborn. They're pretty much lumps for a while. Corgan has me a bit freaked out. He's quite loud. Do you know that I actually thought the other day that it would be GOOD if Caiden had hearing loss?! What kind of sick person am I? I was just thinking, "Man, if this kid's deaf, too, at least he'll be able to sleep through Corgan's monologues." Bad mommy.

Not only is Corgan loud, but he tends to throw things. At your head. And poke you in the eyes. Hard. He tends to stick things in your ears and up your nose. He climbs and tackles. He is two. And good at it. So tell me it's going to be ok. Reassure me that even if Corgan jumps on Caiden's head and pokes him in the eyes with his talons (you try cutting the kid's fingernails) that Caiden will come out of it unscathed. He will survive, right?